"If you ever feel like breaking our promise, just remember that this feels better" you said as you rubbed my wrists.
Thank you. That was the nicest thing anyone said to me this week. Actually, I covered your eyes so that you couldn't see my tears.
A couple of years down the road, I guess we'll really be forgotten.
It's less than a month till pop. I remember at this time a year ago, I was fighting for this position with my life. Haha. Ironic how all I want is to be able to study hard now.
Hey downstairs, work hard, okay? I don't want you to repeat the stupid mistakes I did. Work hard and bring the unit to greater heights. Get in.
I guess I didn't really make an impact at all?
Sigh.
Hey big sister, if you were still alive today, would you be proud of who I am or would I just be another disappointment to you?
Perhaps I should die.
I honestly see no point in life.
Family, friends, school all have no meaning to me now. It makes me wonder, why am I holding on so tightly in the first place? I can't see my future. Whenever I try to imagine two years down the road, everything is a dark blur. I can't see anything. It scares me.
And then I remember you.
The first person who gave me hope. You saved me. I don't want to fall back into that funk again. Because of you I'm fighting, I'm clawing my way out of this hole I've dug for myself.
Please don't leave me, like everyone did. I really don't know what will happen if you do.
Hey, can you hear me? I'm still fighting.
I'm tired. I really don't like waking up early. I'm tired of routine, I'm tired of being tired.
Meh.
I want to hurry up and graduate but the thought that I still have 4-5 years of education ahead of me is truly sickening.
I want to pop haha
Meh, where's the motivation I had a year ago?
I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier.
Ich liebe dich, forever, always
Don't forget that. You're always at the back of my mind, no matter how busy I might be. I might not be able to reply as fast as I'd like to, but
Holy crap I'm crying ugh
Just, I love you too much for words.
Ich hab dich so genre